May 22 - May 28: The week that was

I’m trying to kickstart this mini-project to help me document and reflect on my life. So apologies from the outset if this is not interesting or even boring for you. In reality, it is more for me and complementary to a personal journal that is, for obvious reasons, private. So why put this out in public? I guess it’s like trying to have a personal coach or supervisor forcing me to write more.

You see, I like to write. If I’m honest, I think writing is one of those things in my life that I’ve always wanted to do but never had the self-belief that I could. From an early age, I had it kicked out of me during school, exacerbated by my inability to focus enough in class. I struggled at school despite having the intellect to do well, but I didn’t have the skill set to get on at school with classmates or the faculty. I got through it but by the skin of my teeth. So this is an attempt to force me to document my week(s) in broad strokes—nothing too detailed or personal. My objective is for it to serve two purposes, 1) to have a document to look back on, giving me an overview of what I was up to, and 2) to force me to develop consistency to finish my crap.

If there is one Achilles Heel that I have to contend with, I have to have superhuman perseverance to complete anything that is not immediate or simple and fast to do. It’s not that I’m incapable of finishing things. However, the mental effort required to complete the mundane stuff is so hard that it fatigues me quickly. That is, if I can muster up the necessary effort to start what I need to do!

So I’ve started, and I intend to continue, despite it being utter rubbish at this stage. Hopefully, I can motivate myself enough until it becomes something better and something I look forward to doing.

I’ll spare a long introduction in the future, but I needed to put it down and get it out there. So please indulge/forgive me.

My week

Last week started on a Bank Holiday, much like today is, coincidentally. In the French West Indies, abolition of slavery day is a bank holiday. A day in which people reflect on the legacy of Chattel slavery. In Martinique, that day is the 22nd of May. The decree to ‘end’ slavery was signed on the 27th of April 1848. However, it took time for official documents to reach the Caribbean and be enacted on the islands. I’ll most likely reflect upon this subject again as I have a particular interest.

Moving on, I continued the UNCTAD training course I signed up for —a short course on international merchandise trade statistics. I’ve been doing it for a couple of weeks and find it quite interesting. Learning about how countries gather information on trade and merchandise flows is much more complex than I had imagined. It’s not directly related to my work, but it’s a field of interest that adds to what I’m learning and researching. It is a subject that is of importance in the Caribbean, hence why I’m taking the time to delve into it.

My 15-year-old son is a world-class athlete in the making. This puts a lot of stress on his body, and we had to visit a dermatologist doctor to burn off a particularly nasty verruca on his foot. It’s getting better but might need more treatment. It got me thinking about all the effort and hardship sports players at the top of their game must go through. In silence. In pain. In desperation. Alone. Spare a thought for that player you chastised for screwing up and try to imagine how hard it has been for them to get to where they are and to maintain that level. I suspect most people have absolutely no idea how difficult it is.

The rest of the week was spent reading and researching for two projects I’m working on. One is a paper for the business school academic journal that will be published this year. It’s ostensibly about web3 (whatever that is?), and I’d like to publish it. I’d love to make it a regular thing too. Getting back to the purpose of this blog, the constant uphill battle to concentrate and motivate myself to write is partly why I’m publishing this.

The other project is a labour of love that I believe can make a difference in the Caribbean in a small but important way. Our idea (as I’m partnering with someone else) is to publish research-grade papers to those who need or want them but may not be able to pay for them or have the necessary access to them. I think the difficulty is more about the motivation to do the work without having the financial resources to write without having a salary. Would transforming the project into an academic-type non-profit project seeking a grant be better than bootstrapping something that will inevitably be difficult to sell? Analysis paralysis, I suppose. But that’s how my brain works.

I’ve also tried to get back to regular exercise and started a zero to 5k running program. I feel a little better having exercised. It’ll likely take longer than the program timeline, but I hope to stay on track as best as possible. The trick is finding a way to corner me enough to provoke the desire to exercise. For example, this Saturday, I took advantage of my son’s training session to run/walk for 30 minutes. It’s not a lot, but it is a start, and I can see the benefit in heart rate and recovery, even after only 3 or 4 sessions over the last few weeks.

Again consistency.

If there is a word that defines my life, it is consistency. I am trying to be more consistent. I hope this contributes.

Reading

I’ve just finished Jean-Louis Gassée’s self-published Grateful Geek. I particularly enjoyed the book and read it in short time. Much like the Monday Notes he puts out regularly. If you’re a fan of tech, I’d recommend the book.

I’m continuing to read the Foundation series, something I’m a little ashamed to admit I didn’t read a long time ago. I’m not quite sure why, but I couldn’t get into it the first time I picked it up. I’m thoroughly enjoying it this time around, however.

I recently finished Player One by Douglas Coupland. One of my favourite authors. It didn’t disappoint.

I’ve started several other books:

Of note

Roland Garros has started, and I’ll no doubt be watching some great matches over the coming weeks.

I hope to repeat this next week.

29 May 2023 — French West Indies

Matthew Cowen @matthewcowen